When I was expecting my first child, I had diligently read all the birthing books and felt prepared for the experience. As she was born, the obstetrician said to me “Well, you think that was hard! You will now have to worry about her for the next 25 years minimum. What you just experienced was the easy part!”.  It occurred to me that over the nine months, I had been naively preparing for her coming into the world and hadn’t given much consideration to the years that would follow. In many ways, he was right.

Parenting is a life-giving and fulfilling privilege for many people, however, it comes with its doses of absolute joy, hardship and pain. For new parents, they learn their own needs and wants will take a back seat and that they now take on sole responsibility for a frail, dependent little person whose needs and care will always supersede their own. Our innate desire to protect and nurture our children emerges from the core of our being and it will stay with us for as long as we are their parent.

Unlike the time my children were growing up, I believe parenting in our current times has become more complex and more fraught for the parent and the children. Parents have greater pressures on them to be everything to and for their children and their families. There is financial pressure, there is time pressure and there is relational pressure to provide for the family. Parents are very aware through their reading and exposure to media of what they “should do” to be a good parent and what could potentially happen if they get it wrong. There is a school of thought out there that you can get it right as a parent or you can get it wrong. It is my belief that parenting isn’t black and white and that we will have a few wins and have to concede to a few losses in this journey. I humbly share with you my thoughts which I draw out of the experiences I have had whilst at the College.

1. Be sure your daughter knows that she is loved by you, her parent. Don’t be afraid to express that to her regularly.
2. Allow time to get to know her and spend time with her. Be persistent and this will grow.
3. Have the courage to do the hard stuff. You are the only one who can parent her and she needs that as she develops through adolescence.
4. Build a network with other like minded parents you can call on, so you don’t feel isolated or on a limb when making decisions. This is particularly helpful when you are told “everyone else’s parents let them do…”
5. Don’t sweat the small stuff but hold your ground on the big issues. This will let her feel she has had a few wins and you can be confident the big issues are non negotiable.
6. Show compassion and listen. It isn’t easy to grow up as an adolescent in the 2020s. A parent with a listening ear will provide great comfort and security to her.

Our young people increasingly have compromised health and wellbeing concerns. Their world is a different world to those of my children and their parents as they were growing up. They need as much guidance and assistance possible to build their resilience and confidence so that they are better able to face the challenges and hurdles in the years to come. Work with us at the College, so that in partnership, her journey through adolescence enables her to grow her skills in resilience and independence.

This week we commemorated Sorry Day. A lovely service was held by the Winga Myamly Aboriginal Ministry at Minto. I will leave you with the Prayer for the Stolen Generations developed by the Aboriginal students at John Therry Catholic College which was distributed at the service.

Blessings

Sue Lennox - Principal

Prayers for the Stolen Generations
God of all creation,
We thank you for this beautiful land,
for the First Peoples you entrusted to care for it,
for its wealth and many Second Peoples who have made it their home,
Australia has been good to us.

We ask now for this land that we will be healed,
For our ancestors made gains at the expense of the Aboriginal custodians.
Lands were taken and families destroyed by removal of children.

We pray for those who were taken,
And those parents and grandparents whose arms lost little ones.
We struggle to imagine how this would feel, and how it could have happened.

For the pain and loss of identity and culture, we ask healing.
For a callous disregard of human rights, we ask forgiveness and healing.
For wilful blindness and ignorance, we ask for your light to shine.
For the descendants still affected by trans-generational trauma we ask
for ongoing support systems, in the name of justice.

May we all be one,
May we be a nation who cares for 'the least of these'.

In the name of Christ,
Amen.